Loving a drug addict

He was chaotic,
like colours
I was peaceful,
empty like a blank paper.

The day we met for the first time,
It started to fill
the colours started dancing over my blank sheets!

His 6 am face was like a BOUQUET of flowers to my mornings,
His deep planted brown eyes looked pots of honey in the afternoon,
His smile, god his smile, used to light up the evenings of my town.
But making MY days better
He was being swallowed
By every night that followed.

At the stroke of midnight, when the whole world used to sleep,
He used to wake up,
For Mary Jane

He sat
In a black room
With white powder
And blue toes
And red eyes.

His eyes, his eyes looked at me
As if screaming, he wanted to stay
But his trembling fingers sang cannabis calling, taking him away
And they say,
Yes I know they say,
Sexual love is a sin
But how could I ever listen
When every minute we kissed was an extra minute of his life.

Whenever I asked him to stop
When he was sniffing, snorting,
smoking his life away,
he revolted
I wanna live big and not long.
I’m not addicted, I’m strong.

And every time I could see
The helplessness he would hide,
His inability to decide, lack of love in his life
I could see it all
Where EVERYONE saw him fall,
He knew he was flying!

If only people knew crystal meth killed him later
Later to the lonely sobs at the corner of the room
If only people knew

If only they knew, how wrong is their blaming,
that addiction is a brain disease
That the victim needs more love
than this shaming.

If only HE knew, I was addicted too, to him and his love, maybe he would come back to see I was true.

But now the blank paper has got colours
Some warm, some cold
Some blues, some hues
He is gone, however
the blank paper is gonna keep him forever.


Faiz 🌹

When Faiz says,

“और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा
राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल की राहत के सिवा”,

I feel it.

One reason
of not falling in love
can be
that you’re already there.

A lot of people look like you from a distance. All of them look good.

I want to believe in a fairy tale romance, but I already know too much.

It stays.

‘Forever’ is a lazy, fat, sullen bitch. It doesn’t arrive everywhere, but when it does, it stays.

Their attendance always took their name together, their destiny forgot to.

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